I'm Breezy

I've been trying a new approach this month, very breezy, very la la la who cares about getting knocked up? It's actually working a little. I'm subscribing to the theory that it will only happen the month we don't try. So then I can enjoy telling people (while holding my perfect baby)
"....and we were'nt even trying! Isn't life funny!"
My nonchalance was interupted this morning by brown spotting. EXACTLY like I had with my miscarriages. Only I'm not pregnant. I'm not even due for my period until Thursday. What this means I can only assume is not good. I know about implantation bleeding, a more optimistic person would probably believe that was what it is. But I've never experienced that before and since I associate brown spotting with death I will continue to be passively discouraged. I also have a wicked case of PMS. So wicked that I locked myself in the bedroom last night with a glass of wine and the box set of Friends DVDs while telling my husband through gritted teeth I'd be seeing him when I got my period. (I saw him later that night, apparently he thought it was cool to sleep in his own bed. Jerk.) Even Friends were pissing me off. The one where Rachel takes a pregnancy test at Monica's wedding and while marveling at her beautiful positive she exclaimes "I'm gonna have a baby!" They hug. Happiness abounds. Must be nice to automatically assume a baby will result from your positive test Rachel.
I hate everyone.