I guess the PMS that was in denial the past couple days finally caught up with me.
During my lunch break today I kind of almost flipped out on my coworkers.
Somehow the discussion centered around breast augmentation (which I am firmly against). There are a lot of things that I can take the I would never do it but whatever people want is their own business approach, but today my PMS just wouldn't have it. After I said something to the effect of, I don't want my daughter growing up in a world where her body is expected to look a certain way in order to be accepted, my friend and coworker states, "I'm not having daughters."
I shriek retort, "You'll get what God gives you and you'll be grateful!"
But she's insistent. "I only want boys."
I give up my vocal tirade but inside I'm seething.
This person is my friend, she knows what I've been through, even my most recent debacle. How could she be so insensitive? Doesn't she know how grateful I would be to hold on to a pregnancy for more than 5 days, let alone have the luxury to prefer a sex? I prefer a live baby, that's about as choosy as I can be these days.
So, as I'm sitting at my desk with my head in my hands, I realize I'm being a big stupid idiot.
I'm pissed at her because she hasn't gone through my pregnancy struggles. She still has that innocence that comes with never having a miscarriage or trouble getting pregnant and I'm mad about it.
And that sucks.
It's like stubbing your toe and then kicking the person next to you just because you're in pain and damn it, they should be too, walking around without a care in the world...
I don't want to be that person. It's not her fault.
I might never have to figure out a creative way to show my husband a positive pregnancy test, or think about baby names at 5 weeks pregnant but some women can, so let them enjoy it.
Fake boobs and all.
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